Monday, May 23, 2011

May 23, 2008

Today marks the 3 year anniversary of a day I will never forget. The year 2008 was a year of change for me (and I still find myself growing because of that year... and I hope I always do). I can give a little background... like a flashback of that year. I lost a job that I loved (I did find another job not long after...), I got pregnant, I moved cities, I miscarried, my grandmother died, my father-in-law died, and amongst those things, I made choices that contributed to the death of my marriage.

Anyway, I have always wanted children. For as long as I can remember. It has fueled me. It became who I was. At the young age of 17 I was dx with PCOS (which have since learned it was a misdx, I just had lots of cysts on my ovaries). I tried for 6 months to get pregnant before getting pregnant (a total of about 16 months when all was said and done), which I know now isn't a long time.

I had what is medically called a chemical pregnancy. It was too early to be seen on an ultrasound, so they could only test my blood. And just a few days after my life changed and I was a mother, May 23 happened... and I miscarried. I tried for about a year longer for another pregnancy... which lead to my endometriosis dx. I grew three more very large cysts, and in my last surgery I almost lost both my ovaries. My dr is a very hopeful man though. He is great.

Now, I look forward to the day that I will be a mother. One day... It will happen. Until then (and probably for the rest of my life), my May 23 Angel is here with me... And I love her like I met her. Like I held her. Like she is mine.

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